Found and Lost
by soprano-in-waiting
Summary: Sasuke was always so sure of himself. Now, he has to face the unforeseen consquences of his actions. SasuFemNaru oneshot


Caution: This is a FemNaru story. AU in points.

I don't own Naruto. I don't know if I could handle writing that in-depth of a story….

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><p>A raging stream of water roared over the edge of the ledge, falling to the valley floor. Churning foam gathered where it plunged to join the depthless lake at the feet of two monoliths.<p>

"Sasuke!" A voice screamed over the thunderous waters.

Two small figures stood tense as coiled springs. Blue eyes searched for something, some spark, some light, some….emotion within the coal black depths of her opponent's.

At an unknown signal, the raven blurred forward. The smaller blonde put up her guard, deflecting a kick to her side, only to be caught by a hand fisted in the collar of her shirt. A pale hand twisted in the burnt orange shirt, pulling her closer.

"Why?" Naru choked out, tears burning in the azure orbs. He paused.

"At least tell me why you're leaving Konoha. Leaving me…" She reiterated.

"Power. He'll give me the power to kill 'him'. That pathetic village is only holding me back." He spoke. "But first, there's something I need to do."

Crackling filled the air. A flickering light surrounded the Uchiha's fist as he charged the chidori.

Naru's eyes filled with fear as he raised it to eye level, admiring the beautiful white spider web of energy. The madness within that gaze broke her heart. Within an instant, the hand that had once touched her in love, in tenderness, plunged through her body. Volts of electricity surged through her body, sending her into agony, her muscles jerking and twitching without her volition.

She locked gazes with the teen that had caused her pain. Nothing. He didn't show any emotion. Naru continued to watch him in disbelief. A squelching sound filled the air as he pulled back his fist from her chest.

Wide blue eyes looked down to see a gaping red hole. With morbid fascination, she watched as the organs beneath moved erratically, trying to sustain her flickering life.

Lacking that fist to sustain her, she collapsed onto the rocky shore. Her world faded to black as she dropped, not even able to try and catch her own fall.

Sasuke leaned close to her, gently tucking the golden hair behind her ear.

"I really did love you. I'm sorry, but I had to." He whispered, before continuing his journey.

0o0o0o0

A cloaked figure emerged from the shadows of the cliff. He watched as his charge bounded away to his destination. Wiping away the rogue mist from his glasses, he stooped to examine the body of the jinchuuriki. He could sense the demonic chakra working to repair the substantial damage to its host's body. Green chakra enveloped his own palm. The youth passed it over her body, before letting out an eerie laugh.

"My, my, Sasuke. You really did a number on her, didn't you? Tsk. Tsk. Such a naughty boy."

A cold smile spread across the pale face.

0o0o0o0

Mechanical beeping greeted the blonde's slow return to consciousness. Groggy, she slowly turned her head to encounter the vitals monitor plugging along. She watched with disinterest as the heart rate sped up with her return to awareness.

"Thank heavens! I'll go get Tsunade-sama." A nurse cried out, noticing the open eyes of her patient.

Moments later, a busty blonde charged into the room. She immediately began checking over the girl in the bed. Naru lay there, until the irritation of being fussed over drove her to attempt sitting up. She started to pull herself up only to be stopped by the intense pain in her abdomen. The kunoichi began to fall limp at the pain, but was caught and eased down by the capable hands of her hokage.

"Hey, you gave me quite a scare, Naru. All of us." Tsunade quietly spoke. A faint question found itself in the sleep dulled eyes.

"Those two bozos have barely left your room." The elder blonde tilted her head in the direction of a silver-haired nin sitting in the windowsill and a brunet that was sleeping draped in the uncomfortable visitor's chair. "Not to mention Jiraiya's been a constant pain in the ass when he's not at the bathhouse."

A warm smile graced the Senju heir's face as she gazed down at the young woman in the bed. "Don't be so surprised. There are quite a few people who care about you."

The honey eyes gazed at her filled with a familial love that the young blonde was so unfamiliar with.

"Can you tell us what happened, Naru-chan? Kakashi and his summon, Pakkun, found you in the valley. You were barely alive." Tsunade finally asked, curious as to how the bright child she had come to love ended up like this.

"Sasuke…I caught up to him." She croaked, her voice rough with disuse.

"We fought, and then, he caught me. When I asked him why he was leaving, he told me it was to get power to kill Itachi." Naru whispered. The memories began to run through her head, one after another, catching her in their grip.

"That's not everything, is it?" Tsunade's voice dragged her back to the present, gently insisting she continue.

Tears began to fall from the sapphire orbs as Naru ever so slightly shook her head.

"He said he had one more thing to do before he left, and then he….he…." She faltered. The hokage rubbed her hand in a soothing manner, waiting for her to go on. "He stuck his chidori through me. He just…left me. Like I never mattered to him." She whispered, before completely breaking into tears.

Killing intent flooded the hospital room, waking Iruka from his awkward slumber. He sat up in alarm, hand in his kunai pouch. Taking in the scene before him, he turned to the man next to him for some sort of explanation.

"To answer your questions: Yes, she's awake. A few minutes ago. Tsunade just got out what happened during the fight from Naru." Kakashi answered quietly, not wanting to disrupt the pair on the bed.

"Oh." Was the academy teacher's articulate response as he withdrew his hand.

Tsunade let her be for a few minutes, letting her in peace. She eyed the two males in the room.

"Could you two gentlemen leave us for a moment?"

Iruka glanced at the girl, not wanting to leave her side.

"You can come back, and see her in a few hours; we just need to talk for a bit." She replied, sensing his hesitance. He paused for a moment before heading out the door, giving the pair of blondes one final look before exiting.

Once the men had left, she turned to the still tear-stricken girl on the bed.

She didn't want to do this, but she had to ask.

"Naru, are you…involved with anyone?"

"Huh?" The whiskered girl replied, confused.

"Do you have a…boyfriend?" Tsunade asked again.

"No. Not anymore." Naru quietly whispered.

The hokage's brow furrowed.

"Not anymore?" She echoed.

The look that crossed her patient's face, that of betrayal, hurt, pain, told her everything she needed to know.

"Uchiha? I thought you hated each other!" Tsunade breathed out, shocked at the revelation.

"Yeah, well, fine, fine line and all that, but it doesn't matter anymore. I think attempted murder pretty much says 'We're over', don't you?" Naru laughed bitterly.

Tsunade took a deep breath in, gathering her will to continue.

"Were you two ever intimate?"

"Baba…."Naru whined, pale cheeks gaining a modicum of tint at the question.

"Were you?" Tsunade pried. The girl fidgeted with her bed sheet.

"Once. It just kinda happened." She finally whispered.

"When?"

Naru was about to protest, but under Tsunade's intense gaze, retreated.

"A few weeks ago, after the mission to Snow."

"Is that the only time you've ever been with someone?"

"Yes, fine! Kami! Why're you so interested in my love life all of a sudden?" Naru finally exploded, wincing after her sudden movement in her agitation.

Tsunade got up, and paced around the room, trying to find words.

"Baba? What's wrong?" The genin asked, Tsunade's unease filtering into her.

"Naru…." She started, before deciding to retake her seat on the edge of the bed.

"Naru, you were pregnant. The trauma from the fight caused you to have a miscarriage."

Naru's world once again crashed down around her, shattering into a million pieces.

0o0o0o0

Winter sunlight filtered in weakly through the window onto the figure sitting on the sill.

"What _can_ I do? She's been like this for weeks. I've tried everything. She just sits there." A voice in the background argued. Naru didn't turn her head. It didn't matter what they were talking about. Nothing did anymore.

"What about taking her out into the village? Surely the hospital can't be that stimulating for her?" Another, deeper voice suggested.

"Tried it. It's like she's not even there anymore. I can't stand it." Sakura answered, almost on the verge of tears as she watched the shell of her teammate.

"Maybe the answer isn't the village then." Tsunade interjected as she rounded the corner into the room, Jiraiya at her side.

"What do you mean, Hokage-sama?" The silver haired jounin asked.

"Naru?" Tsunade called. Getting no answer, Jiraiya shared a concerned moment with Tsunade before heading across the room to the girl in question.

"Naru, I'm leaving the village in a few days, and I want you to come with me, a training trip. Will you do that?" He asked, gently taking her chin in his large hands.

"Sure." She lifelessly droned, before staring out the window again.

"We won't be coming back for a while, probably not even years, just so you know. It's not a quick jaunt over to the next village." He warned.

"Whatever." She repeated.  
>The white haired giant sighed, that was about as much as they had been able to get out of her.<p>

"We're leaving in two days, be ready to go. I'm not gonna go easy on you." He said, as he headed out of the room. A quick hand shot out to grab his arm. Long painted nails dug into his forearm.

"I hope you know what you're doing, Jiraiya." Tsunade growled.

"I do too, Hime, I do too."

0o0o0o0

Once again, two pairs of eyes met across the distance. Coal black bored into ice blue.

In a flash, the raven was standing, blade drawn across the back of the neck of the blonde.

"Go ahead. Finish what you started." She dared, rocking the Uchiha from his mask. Faint surprise showed at the lack of fight in his blonde's attitude.

"Not even going to resist? A flick of my wrist is all it would take." He softly teased.

"Then all you would be doing is letting me join the child you killed." Naru spat at him.

Sasuke turned to fully look at her. He was chilled at the rage, the anger, but most of all the sheer despair that confronted him. Then her words registered. He froze.

"Child? I never killed any child." He replied, protesting his dubious innocence.

A mad laugh escaped her lips.

"That's right. You didn't even let them live to take a first breath. Ironic, isn't it. First day on Team 7, you said one of your goals was to resurrect your clan, and yet, you kill your own child." She explained, showing more life than she had in the last three years combined.

"What are you talking about?" He argued, withdrawing his blade to more fully confront her.

"All it takes is one time. Remember the mission to Snow?" She prompted.

The memories flashed through his mind's eye.

_Skin. Touch. Sweat. Love._

"No…"Sasuke whispered, eyes wide in disbelief. His blood froze in his veins.

"Figured it out have you?" Naru taunted. "Imagine my surprise when Tsunade tells me I miscarried because someone stuck a chidori through my chest."

"No…Kami, No…" Sasuke repeated, trying to deny what she was telling him.

He vaguely registered Orochimaru's appearance before being dragged back with them to a new hideout.

0o0o0o0

Sasuke sat in the darkness of the small room he had been deposited in after their arrival at the new base.

'_No. She had to be lying. There would have been signs if she had been pregnant. I left over two months after that mission.'_ One side of him argued.

'_**Ah, but she had been slightly ill, hadn't she?'**_

'_Food poisoning. She never was good at checking expiration dates.'_

'_**For three straight weeks? Naru was never sick a day in her life.'**_ That pesky little voice niggled in the back of his mind.

'_Years of ramen catching up with her then.'_

'_**Perhaps, but strange that the smell of ramen seemed to trigger that particular reaction.'**_ The logical voice once again reasoned.

"She was pregnant. With my child." Sasuke finally admitted in a pained voice to the surrounding darkness.

"I killed my own child. I'm worse than Itachi." Something within him broke at that, driving him over the edge, as tears of blood trailed down his cheeks, staining the sheets red.

0o0o0o0

"Hello, ototo." An emotionless, flat voice greeted him. Sasuke turned, finding the seated figure on the stone dais.

"Itachi."

Sasuke stepped closer. Footsteps echoed off the walls as he walked closer.

"You think you can kill me? Extract your revenge, ototo?" The elder Uchiha questioned as his brother strolled closer, unafraid.

A deranged laugh emanated from Sasuke's twisted lips.

"I don't plan on leaving here alive. I don't give a damn whether or not I live anymore. We're both kin slayers now, so let's have Kami decide which of us, if any, should live." Sasuke proposed, a crazed look gracing his mien.

Itachi finally got a clear look at his little brother's eyes. Mangekyo.

"So you finally took my advice. Tell me, who did you have kill? I'm interested to know who you let close enough to achieve this." Itachi asked, conversationally.

"Didn't you listen? You're not the only one to have Uchiha blood on your hands, _aniki._" Sasuke twisted the endearment into an insult, sliding his sword from its sheathe.

Itachi raised an elegant brow, his only sign of confusion. "You were the only one I left alive. There are no more Uchiha." He asserted.

Sasuke lunged. Sparks flew as he struck the stone seat.

"Now dear brother, surely you know how babies are made." The younger raven took in his surroundings, before finally spotting where his target had moved to.

The genius Ex-ANBU's mind was whirring. He, himself, had never fathered any children, which could only mean…

"You killed your own child?" Itachi choked out, his own emotionless mask breaking. What kind of a monster had his sweet ototo become?

"How could you?" The elder whispered.

"I never knew. I never even knew until three years after the fucking fact." Sasuke spat out. "Stand and fight you coward!" He yelled as Itachi dodged another blow, not even drawing his blade.

"No. You've gone mad. You need help." Itachi replied, tossing aside his act of the cold-hearted killer.

"That's rich." Sasuke laughed. "The man who killed his entire clan telling me that I'm mad. If I'm so mad, then what, pray tell, are you?" He asked, closing in for another attack.

The Akatsuki member analyzed his brother's attacks. Sasuke didn't even care if he sustained damage. He left himself wide open.

Itachi swooped in, quickly knocking the sword away, and engaged in a lightning quick taijutsu battle. Swift jabs to key pressure points immobilized him.

"Listen well, ototo," Itachi ordered, grasping Sasuke's head and forcing him to look at him. "The only reason I killed the clan was to protect you. They wanted to make you into the next jinchuuriki for the Kyuubi. Now I'm fairly certain you know who the current one is by now, don't you?" The widening of Sasuke's eyes answered for him.

"Very good. Of course, she had had the kyuubi since her birth. If father had done as he had planned, both you and her would have died from the attempt. Now think long and hard, ototo, do my actions seem like that of a madman?" Itachi roared, slamming his brother's head into the concrete. White spots of light bloomed in Sasuke's field of vision. The dark-cloaked man got to his feet, taking deep breaths to calm his anger.

"I thought I was doing the right thing. You were going to be the Uchiha avenger, righting the horrible deeds I had done, raising our clan from the ashes, but it appears my hopes were misplaced. You've fallen so far from the man you had the potential to become. I don't even know if I can call you my brother anymore. You need to fight your own demons. I refuse to be your executioner. Goodbye, Sasuke."

With that, the elder raven disappeared, leaving the younger paralyzed on the floor.

0o0o0o0

What is one supposed to do when they've lost their purpose? Their self-respect?

Sasuke lay there in the cold room. He had lost his family. His revenge. His first love. His own child. How does one fix a shattered world?


End file.
